Senior sexual issues and tips

  • By Suman Singh

Age related changes in women and men :

Older women may see physical changes that result from a decrease in hormones. The vagina may become drier which could cause irritation, tears in the vaginal wall, pain and bleeding. However, these are minor issues and can be overcome by just a little talk with your doctor who would prescribe lubricants. Men may notice that their erections are no longer firm or that they are taking longer to get an erection and will probably also ejaculate less amounts or they may not be able to hold the erection for longer periods of time. Impotence can also be caused by medicines, chronic illness, or psychological problems such as anxiety or depression. Heart diseases, arthritis, diabetes, high blood pressure, as well as surgery can cause sexual problems as you age. Problems like incontinence can be embarrassing especially if having sex puts pressure on the bladder. Hysterectomy (removal of the uterus) and Mastectomy (removal of the breast because of cancer) and prostatectomy that is removal of the man’s prostrate, can all effect desire for sex, especially in women who may feel that they are no longer desirable. Also, worries about aging, illness, retirement, and other life changes can douse the spark.

Women may feel less attractive and men may have performance worries as they grow older.

Easy to solve the issue

Even with all the above problems, men and women can both still have a satisfactory sex. Communication is the key to resolving most issues. If one partner feels unwell, or is in pain or has the lost desire to have sex because of surgery then the other partner should not misunderstand the reluctance as rejection but rather should be supportive till the urge returns.

  1. Instead of plunging straight into sex, you build the mood and let it flow from there naturally. You should be as romantic as possible by listening to music or enjoying a romantic movie together, massaging each other or showering together to build up the atmosphere. Sometimes a little more manual foreplay or the use of a vibrator can lead to better stimulation and enjoyment.
    Sexual enjoyment often follows naturally from romantic activities.
  2. If women feel discomfort during intercourse then they must use a personal lubricant. In fact, if both partners use the lubricant it could be pleasanter for both.
  3. Arthritis can be painful and so having sex the way you did in your younger days, could be difficult but a side position spares the pressure on the joints and you could find the new position comfortable soon enough.
  4. All sex does not mean penetration always so you could still enjoy cuddling, kissing, more foreplay, and mutual masturbating to feel satisfied.
  5. You could begin your day with sex as men are said to have better erection in the mornings after a good night’s sleep. When retired you can do anything, any time!
  6. However, if men are not having an erection because they are pressured, or because anxiety is making them fail, then it is a good idea to talk to the doctor to resolve issues. Women may also need to go to a psychologist if they feel that hysterectomy and mastectomy is the reason why they don’t want to have sex any more.